Opening the Back Door
Did someone say “anal?!”
After all these centuries, and countless historical references, somehow anal sex is still taboo. Well, not here. We know all too well how anal sex can change a relationship, connect and reconnect couples, and provide immeasurable amounts of pleasure.
For beginners and repeat offenders, we’ve put together a recipe for increased gratification that is certain to bring your sexual chemistry and emotional connection to new heights. So, let’s get to it.
How to Get Started
I’m often told by my female friends that it’s hard to get into anal sex. That it breaks the regular rhythm because it’s new, uncertain and sometimes even stressful. So, let’s start with how you can easily incorporate anal sex into your regular sex routine.
Go in knowing that anal sex is on the menu. For many couples, anal sex is never an option, so it’s never thought about or even discussed. Because of this, many couples have a closed mind about anal sex and how it could even work or be pleasurable. Once you’re in the mindset, your night will revolve around how to get there. This will build excitement and make the journey easier and more fun.
Touch unlocks the door. Without a doubt, the easiest way to start down the path toward anal sex, is simply the touch of a finger. If you’ve never tried anal sex before, that touch will feel a little foreign, but it will also ignite a new stimulation. Get past any initial mental discomfort, and then you’ll feel an overwhelming amount of fulfillment. Remember, the first time should be gentle, light and soft. It should be a tease.
Double your stimulation. If you struggle getting your mind in the right place for anal sex, use double stimulation. Have your partner pleasure you by touching your clit and your anus, or he can finger you as he grazes over your anus. By including a stimulation you’re accustomed to, you can relax and enjoy anal exploration as you feel through the new sensations.
Now let’s get a little deeper (pun intended). 😉
Start here … Anal Play
When it comes to anal fun, not every night is full penetration. There are a lot of ways to utilize anal play to increase orgasm sensitivity. Like I said, consider it a new option on the menu and you and your partner decide, in the moment, how far you want to take it. Below are some of my personal favorites for anal play. Explore at will.
Anal fingering. Once you’ve made it past the initial touching, it’s time to let his finger slide deep inside your ass. Start with one finger and as you enjoy it, go for even more, if you’re comfortable. Your man will be incredibly turned on by loosening your ass, just as he does your pussy. Let him finger both your ass and your pussy. This is almost guaranteed to make you squirt and leave cum dripping down your legs. This is what you want, a new type of release, a new way to encounter the Big O.
The powerful tongue. Ladies - do not be shy. Let your man lick your tiny asshole. This is a mid-blowing sensation that will have you cumming over and over. Let him lick you as he fingers your pussy. And while he does that, reach down and play with your clit. The culmination of events will bring you to another world. It will be an orgasm like you’ve never known.
Butt plugs. Did you ever think your ass could adorn such beautiful jewels? Well, it can. Enjoy a glass butt plug, or one with a jewel top, or even a long furry tail. Let your man insert any butt plug you like. Let him feel it slide into your ass. Then enjoy the true pleasure of double stimulation as he fucks you from behind, staring at your favorite jewel. Let him know when you’re about to cum; then he can apply pressure to the butt plug, making your orgasm last longer and become more powerful.
Texture pleasure. Play with textures and sensitivity. Try feathers, whips, or any material at home. Learn how different things feel as they slide over your anus. There’s a full spectrum of sensations, and you can only feel them with experimenting.
Speed and depth. This is not a one-speed bike. With anal play, you can explore the feeling of being fingered fast and hard, or slow and deep. You can enjoy a butt plug that is glass, silicone, metal, etc. It can be longer or shorter. This is the time to feel it all and find what you love.
Then do this … Go Even Deeper
Full penetration. It’s time to open the back door. Wide open … let your man thrust into your ass, all the way. Let him feel your tight ass hole grip his dick as he pumps in and out. At first, you might clinch, and if you do, it’s even more pleasure for him. Full anal penetration is one of the most satisfying and captivating forms of sex, so don’t stop just because you’re nervous. Use this time to increase your sexual excitement.
Double penetration. Now that you’re enjoying full penetration, it’s time to move into double penetration. Double penetration combines both vaginal and anal sex to create an orgasm that leaves you drooling. It is the perfect execution of the highest forms of pleasure. This doesn’t mean you need another partner; it simply means you need a toy. Your man should get to pick. Ask him. Either he wants to fuck your pussy, or your ass and the toy gets the pleasure of the unselected. I implore you to try both options. And when I say try, I mean full penetration in both, with your pussy dripping wet and your man cumming in your ass. Make it dirty, make him beg for you.
Watch porn. Few things are better than anal porn, specifically double penetration. If you haven’t seen it, turn it on – NOW. Watching anal porn with your partner will help you both see and feel the sexual turn-on without awkwardness. And this is where it gets fun … watch the deep penetration and control that the man assets as he consumes every part of her body on camera. This is where you should be starting your anal play before moving into a hot anal fuck.
Find your position. Just like with vaginal sex, there are a world of options for anal positions. Not all will be comfortable, but when you find those that are, you’ll be glad you did! Start with missionary – it's safe and provides easy entry. Plus, as a female, you’re more likely to be relaxed in this position. However, this position, can make vaginal stimulation more difficult, if you’d like to use a toy. Then get more adventurous … try doggy style. It offers excellent anal exposure, and a perfect angle for clitoral stimulation. Another great option is with a female on her side. Again, great anal exposure and a favorable angle for thrusting. Then you can try having the female on her stomach with anal penetration from above. This is one of the most excellent anal positions that I have experienced (and have heard the same from other women). It provides so much pleasure, that no stimulation is needed elsewhere to experience an amazing anal orgasm. Next, if your man has some strength, think about him standing and holding you as he thrusts his cock in your ass while you’re in the air. Finally, once you’ve had plenty of practice, surprise your man. Straddle him and start to slide his dick inside you, BUT this time slide it into your ass. He will be so turned on by your initiative, that it may be a short fuck, but I guarantee it will be a good one.
Get a little risqué … Anal Role Play and Tease
One of the most fascinating parts of anal exploration is how you can use it for role play, or in public spaces, or just a little tease around the house. We’ve included some options for your consideration.
For role play: You can get really creative here. There are so many fun butt plugs with short tails, long tails and furry tails. You can pretend you’re anything. But for role play, my favorite is anything naughty in a short skirt. This allows you to have your ass exposed with a butt plug peeking out. It’s an unexpected twist as you and your man dive into a role play session. Let him play with it anytime, but you retain control of where it leads. Remember, anal is great for play and tease, as well as hot sex. Pick your mood and surprise your man with an anal fuck, vaginal and anal, or just vaginal with the butt plug.
In public: Next time you go out with your man, wear a butt plug under your skirt. But don’t tell him. Request a booth at the bar or restaurant you’re attending. Wait until you’ve been out for a bit and you’re both relaxed and having a great time. Then lean in closely, grab the back of his neck, place one hand on his inner thigh, as you whisper into his ear, “Hey baby – I'm wearing a butt plug.” He will be happily surprised when you tell him, in fact, he may not even believe you at first. Then say, “I can prove it to you.” Slowly shift the way you're sitting, as if a normal movement, crossing your legs away from him, providing ease for his hand to slip under your skirt and feel the butt plug. If he’s too nervous to try it – send him on a dare, or simply grab his hand and slowly move it toward your ass. If you want to get even more risqué, challenge him to make you cum as he applies pressure to the butt plug while you’re at the table.
A tease: When you’re settling in for the night, why not take it up a notch? Nothing is hotter than a little anal tease. While you’re in the shower, place any anal plug you’d like. When you get out, put on one of his button-down shirts and tie it in the front. Nothing else. Walk around and continue doing your normal routine without saying anything. He’ll already be turned on just watching you. Then after a bit, make certain to bend over in front of him. I guarantee, he will be grabbing you in about one second. Or better yet, drop to your knees and crawl all around him, so he can see your body move as you show off your beautiful ass tease.
There are multiple levels and techniques for exploring anal gratification. Keep your mind open to the possibilities and when the opportunity arises, don’t hesitate.
End here … Anal Connection
One of the often-forgotten aspects of anal sex, is that it’s not just about the sex. Anal sex provides an unwavering connection between a male and female. It is the combination of control and trust that provides elevated orgasms. This mental connection allows our bodies to escape everyday thoughts, while capturing intimate moments at a higher level.
As you experience anal sex, you’re also experiencing a vulnerable part of each other that can enhance your love and commitment. Anal sex can be hard and fast, but also slow and highly climatic. You can play with the experiences and expand your minds for heightened emotional and sexual intimacy. You can do this in many ways. Below are just a few suggestions.
Pause during anal sex (just as you would vaginal sex) to kiss slowly or nibble on your partner’s neck. These soft moments build your bond and ensure that you maintain an emotional high as you both climax.
Use touch to bond. Show your man how you want to be touched. Place his hand exactly where you want it and move it exactly how you like it. Hand on hand contact provides an intense chemistry that can make the experience more sexual and more loving.
Get naughty. Let him pull your hair … hard. Pulling hair is not simply for BDSM, it’s a moment of control and dominance that will bring both of you together, especially during an orgasm. It’s your man’s assertion of territory – a combination of love and lust.
If you’ve been disconnected, use this as a new approach to express your interest in fulfilling your partner physically and mentally.
And Don’t Forget!
No discussion of anal sex should be had without mentioning a few best practices. After all, your anus is a muscle and part of your body with everyday functions. So, keep in mind a few tips below.
Relax. Anal sex will never be fun or enjoyable if you can’t relax. Females need to relax their rectums for pleasure; otherwise, entrance and exit can be very painful. Men need to know their partners are open to anal sex and want it, in order to get the full pleasure. Any deviation will create a bad experience for both partners.
Use lubricant. I don’t know any women who have enjoyed anal sex without lubricant. If you can and do – that's amazing! For the rest of us, there’s lubricant. Don’t use it as you would for vaginal sex. Plan to use far more than expected, especially on your first time. Yes, it’s going to be messy, but who fucking cares. Just enjoy the experience. That’s what you’re here for.
Stay clean. Always wash after anal sex. Just as you should pee and wash after vaginal sex, anal is no different. In fact, it’s even more important. Adding anal sex to your menu, means that you’re more likely to spread bacteria and germs, so keep it clean and wash regularly. Also, don’t transition from anal to vaginal sex. While this is popular in many porn movies, it’s not for everyday practice. Wash before transitioning. This will help prevent UTIs, as well as vaginal infections.
How often? No hard rules here. However, remember than anal sex requires parts of your body to function a bit differently, so keep that in mind as you make your choices for sexual fun.