Toys of Pain and Pleasure
I grew up in a time when vanilla couples and starfish sex were all the rage. We were taught that the word bondage meant the use of medieval torture devices and a whole lot of leather. Well-mannered housewives and hard-working husbands in suits would never dream of whipping out the love swing or feathered paddle, that shit was for the creeps of the world. Then why was it so intriguing? Instead of scaring us all into being Nuns, it propelled curiosity in many people’s minds and loins, knowing that not all humans were dead ass boring.
The world of BDSM is an enticing one to say the least, yet it’s one that a lot of people might be intimidated by. Whips, chains, ball-gags and hanging from the ceiling butt ass naked in a harness, I exactly what comes to mind whenever the word bondage is thrown around, but you wouldn’t throw yourself in the deep end of the pool before you could swim right? The same goes for BDSM and bondage. A bit of research, open discussion and genuine consent, are imperative to make this type of sexual encounter effective.
If you and your partner want to try out some BDSM themed playtime, then there are some items and info you might want to start with. Let’s focus on just two in the array of delights, that are great toys to begin your new world of sexual gratification. I’m talking about the good old butt plug and nipple clamps. You won’t want to miss this.
Did Someone Say Butt Plug?
Did you know that in the beginning of its creation, the butt plug was labelled as a cure for insanity and constipation? Well, now you do. If I had to survive the 1900s, I too would have been insane, constipated like the rest of society and in desperate need of a butt plug.
The butt plug has a few different uses and hundreds of different styles and sizes to suit yours or your partner’s pleasure levels. They are commonly used for stretching the anus and unlike a normal dildo, they literally plug the butthole (in and out thrusting is not what this baby is for). If you and your partner want to delve into some ass fucking in the future (but are both a little tight in that area), a butt plug is the perfect solution. They can be inserted and left in for short periods of time to train your sphincter to accept bigger things like dildos or your partner’s fat cock. I advise that you don’t leave it in for longer than a period of 2 hours, and to keep up those Kegel exercises (pelvic floor workouts) in between use, to help you maintain normal bodily functions.
Butt plugs aren’t only for expansion, they’re more commonly used in fantasy play. From faux fur animal tails, shiny heart shaped butt rope or your standard anal beads, you can get whatever kinky plug your ass can dream of. They are used during foreplay, oral sex, vaginal play and intercourse, to give you that full feeling from inside and access those internal G-spots that send normal orgasms into overdrive.
For easier first-time insertion I suggest a warm bath to help relax your muscles, a whole lot of foreplay and a jug full of lube. Butt plugs are designed not to get lost inside your body, hence why all should have a broad base or a safety string. Don’t attempt to put any other object up your anus hole either, just in case your sphincter sucks it up like a vacuum cleaner and causes you internal damage. You’ll end up in the ER with a lot of explaining to do, a very red face and a sore asshole!
The most important thing to remember is that if you feel any pain, stop what you’re doing immediately! This is supposed to be a pleasurable experience for both, so if any pain occurs either try again slower (and with more lube) or get a smaller butt plug, there’s no shame in having a tight butthole. Make sure you read the care instructions on your new product and keep it clean with warm soapy water. Your fun with each other doesn’t have to be clean, just your butt plugs…
Nipple Clamps
There is a fine line between pleasure and pain, or so the song lyrics by The Divinyls tell us. As it turns out though, scientists have studied the effects of pain on the human brain and surprisingly found the reactions were partly located in the same area that receives pleasure. If the scientists say it’s so, then who are we to argue? Hence, we enter the world of nipple clamps…
Our nipples are one of the most sensitive areas on our bodies and when stimulated, the sensations travel along our entire nervous system. During foreplay and intercourse, a lot of groping and sucking goes on particularly involving a woman’s tits and it’s no wonder why. Men love boobs and women love them being touched. Guys we know how much you love to lick, suck and pinch your girl’s nipples, well how about trying out a set of nipple clamps? The arousal level instantly intensifies when these come out to play.
The clamps themselves are adjustable according to your level of sensitivity, so unlike your partner’s teeth, these can be controlled. In the middle of getting down and dirty, pull out a pair of chained nipple clamps and watch your partner’s eyes sparkle in mischievous delight. That pussy will be wet in seconds as you place each clamp on her swollen buds, all the while caressing other parts of her body with gentle, pleasurable motions. That could be anything from kissing her neck and licking her earlobe to using other toys like feathered whips or even ice cubes. Her arousal levels and reactions are your cues as to whether it’s working. Trust me, you’ll know.
Balance in BDSM
As with all things in life, if you want to delve into the world of BDSM then you must understand balance. Think Yin and Yang, black and white, hot and cold. Everything has an equal opposite and wouldn’t exist without the other. The same is to be said about pleasure and pain. When balanced correctly, the acts alone can produce orgasms without actual penetration occurring. Couple’s who have successful BDSM relationships have an understanding that the sensation comes from the shock of the pain, and then the feeling of pleasure followed closely behind.
Trust and communication are more than vital in these situations. This type of sexual play can quickly turn from arousing into just painful if you don’t know each other’s limits and thresholds. Safe words aren’t a joke, they are imperative, and you both must abide by them. If things get too painful, too rough or just heading in a direction you aren’t comfortable with, use your safe words and respect one another’s boundaries.
There are so many wonderful experiences to be had and toys to play with that I could go on about them all day long. Butt plugs and nipple clamps are only the beginning of a sexual relationship that is so hot, you’ll never want to leave the house again. From here you can slowly step things up by adding more toys to your collection such as paddles, double-ended whips and ticklers, to handcuffs and restraints. Your imaginations are the key to a great time and the land of multiple orgasms so get creative and get naughty!
BDSM is fun, butt plugs feel good and nipple clamps tease us to the edge of exploding. With practice and persistence, you and your partner can explore the delicious dark side and leave the vanilla sex in the 1900’s where it belongs. If you like things a little rougher than usual or want to dive into a submissive/dominant relationship, think about starting small. Butt plugs and nipple clamps are the perfect beginner’s toys.
Just be warned! Once you open the door to the sensual, wild side of sexual satisfaction with painful pleasure, you will never go back to the vanilla fields. Instead, you’ll uncover a sexual side of yourselves not thought to exist, and erogenous zones you never knew you had. There’s a fine line between pleasure and pain and it’s called the best orgasm of your life.