BDSM Planning
Did you know that “Fifty Shades of Grey” one of the most purchased erotic books in the world? And trust me, it's not because the author is such a great storyteller, although she is. Instead, it's because it graphically describes people's most desired fantasies in bed.
You may not have had many partners in the past, and even if you did, only one or two out of ten would be open enough to talk about their sexual preferences. The bottom line is your sexual journey might forever be void of your most genuine desires, especially if you're scared of the negative reaction that your partner might have.
After carefully drawing stats, we've found that some of the most desired sexual fantasies are under the confines of BDSM. This is not only because BDSM offers hundreds of possible explorations in bed but also because of the constant gratification that comes with it.
If you don't already know, BDSM stands for bondage, dominance (or discipline), sadism (or submission), and masochism. All these terms in themselves might seem scary and even dangerous at face value, but assuredly, with the right guidance, these words will most likely give you the best sex of your life.
Now don't make the mistake of thinking that, naturally, if you've haven’t had a BDSM fantasy, it means you're not a fan … that’s not true at all. If you've ever watched a movie that you didn't think was going to be great, only to be completely stunned by just how great it was; plan for the same with BDSM. Some people might even cringe at the idea of trying out such seemingly dangerous activities in bed but give it time. You may be shocked to find just how much you enjoy the pain and dominance, and I guarantee you’ll be happy you did.
Engaging in BDSM
Have you ever followed a recipe from a movie and got it exactly, right? It's almost impossible. Well, that's because movies maximize time by cutting out some extra details, but those details are essential in achieving any identical effect, as shown.
So, if you see a couple on screen having the time of their lives after trying about a BDSM act, don't be so quick to follow since you might have missed the most important details.
Many parts of BDSM require thoughtful planning and discussion. Some easier aspects can be quickly put together. But that’s still the hard part. How do you know what to do and how to do it?
Well, not to worry. We’re going to guide you through the process of planning a BDSM rendezvous. Remember, couples often quit after one bad experience, so a plan ahead until you’re more comfortable with the ideas.
Know what your partner likes
When you're about to try out BDSM, the first thing to consider is what your partner seems to like in bed. For example, when you have sex, does she like it when you pin her hands down, or does she prefer to be on all fours, or does she desire the ability to stand? It is crucial to study her behavior during sex to decide what direction your act should take.
For instance, if your partner likes being taken from the back and giggles or moans each time you slap her ass, there is a considerable chance that your partner likes to be dominated, so your BDSM choices should include similar interests. Perhaps spanking with a whip with restraints.
While on a road trip, you can casually make jokes about sexual scenarios and see how she reacts. If your questions are light enough, she'll give light responses that would help reflect her preferences. All of this is to guide you.
Know what you like
Irrespective of how much you want to please your partner, you must do a quick study of yourself. This is to help you understand your own needs better so that you both can find common ground. As the dominant, you may get to inflict the pain and lead the night, but you’re also going to receive the pleasure, so make it worth it.
Mapping out simple details during sex or make-out sessions can create a solid perspective in which to build BDSM activities. Do you enjoy pinching her nipples, or having your girl serve you, or using toys, or watching her suck your dick? All these things can become part of your game, so pay attention to her and take a survey of your own desires.
Determine your budget
As you might have known by now, BDSM comes with a lot of erotic equipment, if you want to do it the Christian Grey way. But if you're just starting out and have no clue what both of you prefer yet, there are plenty of options to cut down the costs.
Your setting and props/toys are entirely up to you and can often be made from things in your home. For instance, to tie your partner's hands, you could use your leather belt. To achieve a blindfold, you could use any piece of clothing. Need a whip? Use a wooden spoon the first time, or a small twig. Once you know what you really life and want, make the investment in those items.
And if you want those gorgeous BDSM toys with rich materials and flawless operation - help yourself. We’ll never get in the way of your orgasms.
Rules of Engagement
Now that you're in for a BDSM treat, here are some tips that should serve as your BDSM rulebook.
Plan the events …
BDSM experience typically consist of a few events. These events can be anything you want but should be well thought out. Some examples are provided below:
Event #1 – Tie her ankles while she’s laying stomach down on the bed. A pillow is present for her to scream into as you test various whips on her.
Event #2 – She sits with her hands tied behind the chair and ankles tied to the legs of the chair. Then you use the vibrator on her clit making her cum over and over again.
Event #3 – Her arms are tied spread apart on the bed with her ass in the air. You stand in front of her and tell her to suck your dick. Then after a few minutes, you climb behind her and fuck her raw.
Even if you’re acting out a fantasy, think of what those events should be. The last thing you want is to be fumbling around and destroy the mood. It can be very difficult to get back to the same headspace for you and her.
Incorporate some comfort
We know that BDSM utilizes a blend of pain and pleasure to generate those ultimate climaxes, but there is a general area of comfort the submissive must have. That doesn’t mean she won’t be uncomfortable at times, but the goal is to ensure there are no muscle cramps or numbing in the limbs. As you’re planning your session, be certain to note the amount of time she will be in each position and the pleasure/pain she will be enduring. Build your setting with those thoughts in mind.
Set the mood
The next thing to do is to set the mood. This can be music, candles, clothing, blankets, or nothing at all. If you're the type who's comfortable with watching porn with your partner (we’ll assume you are) you might want to watch a few related videos to increase your partner's curiosity and the world you're inviting her into.
Decide the mood you want. You can have a lot of communication or very little. You’re both playing roles, so decide ahead of time … is it suspenseful, it is exciting and fast, is it slow and methodical? Play with everything from the setting to the clothing, to the time of day, to props; all of which set the mood differently.
Pick the right location
In BDSM, space is necessary, so you might want to take this off your couch and onto your bed, or even the floor. If you intend to tie her up, sometimes tying wrists is just too boring. Instead, tie her to the bed or furniture; this will better help you achieve that domination.
Ultimately, you want a space where she can be spread open or tied tight. You should have your bondage method determined, but also have room for spur of the moment changes, based on the direction of the experience. Set your toys and props out in advance, so you can quickly grab the right tool.
You can have the upscale session in a five-star hotel or slut worthy experience in some under furnished room in your house. The setting helps the experience, but high-end resources aren’t a requirement.
As you progress with BDSM, consider less conventional locations like the kitchen, backyard, garage … yep, the garage. The location should fit the mood you’re going for, so give it some thought to create a memorable moment for both of you. No one wants to be bored in BDSM, so guys, go big (because we guarantee you’re going to want to do this again).
Act out her fantasies
Using your earlier observations, make sure you fulfill each other's fantasies. That’s what BDSM is. It’s here for those lush, extreme fantasies that you can’t get enough of. The ones that keep you up at night … lost in endless thoughts of pleasure.
For instance, if your partner likes intense domination, you can please her in different positions making your dominance very pronounced. Twist her and turn her into a million positions, making her cum over and over. Let her feel new sensations with toys, whips and chains. Then fuck her when she’s least expecting it. She’s your submissive, so don’t hold back.
If your partner has a rape fantasy (which is not as uncommon as you might think), you should exploit this. Use a blindfold to implement the element of surprise. But have this planned, so that everything you do engages her in the fantasy. Plan your moves, your words, and your wishes, as you take advantage of her vulnerable body. Remember you’re playing a role, so stick to it.
Whatever the fantasy is, put the pieces together so that the experience is impactful and highly pleasurable, tapping into a different side of your sexual desires.