Breath Play
If you've had your first kiss and first make out more than two weekends ago, then you know by now how your partner responds when you hold her tightly or put your entire weight on her. Suppose she reciprocates by pulling you in close and pressing you tighter to her skin.
No, she's not doing it randomly or simply to hold you in place, as you might have initially thought. If pleasure could be quantified, she does it because you're sending millions and millions of pleasure particles into her body.
With these physical pulsations, comes something that most people forget about: breathing … but not every day, staying alive type of breathing. This breathing is what happens when you connect with each other, as you pleasure your bodies into total ecstasy. This is often referred to as breath play. Breath play allows you to communicate and play through breathing changes, while exploring new sexual ventures.
If you've seen certain movies or books, you may have found instances where couples would put pressure on certain parts of each other's bodies. It differs depending on personality, but there is a high probability that your partner is very much into breath play. Many couples have been known to hold their breath until achieving their desired climax. The light-headedness that comes with a lack of oxygen can be utilized to enhance the physical stimulation. And let’s be honest, that might be exactly what you need.
First, both you and your partner must totally invest in breath play and understanding general breathing patterns. Knowing the baseline and how your partner’s breath changes with stimulation is what helps you push boundaries and make new discoveries. You can also identify breathing anomalies within those patterns, allowing you to connect differently and take advantage of opportunities to better the experience.
For instance, if you watched a sex scene in a movie about a lover's reunion, you'll certainly expect to see passionate, slow sex. However, it might just strike you as a regular sex scene without the breathing intensity. This shows just how important it is to pay attention to both you and your partner's breathing pattern if you're ever going to get close to achieving passionate sex.
So, gentlemen, don't be so quick to drop down those pants. Instead, take some time during your make-out sessions to learn her behavioral patterns in your head. It is essential to know what your partner prefers. Besides, you're all hot and sweaty with each other anyway, so use that intimacy to gain some knowledge for greater pleasure.
To help you expand your awareness of breath play and how to effectively apply it to your relationship, we have outlined a few things to try.
Level #1: Closing off the nose and mouth
If you both are newbies, or at the very least, if your partner is and you are about to take baby steps towards the world of breath play, then pinching the nose is a great first step.
Pinching the nose or covering the mouth remain as the most desired breath play activities. Perhaps because of its accessibility, safety, and ease. Also, perhaps because of the sensual effect it provides regardless of how much clothing you both have on.
If you've kissed for more than five minutes at a stretch, you already know that it gets boring if you aren’t incorporating some other activities. Usually, most men see it as an invitation to caress her breasts and get right down to sex. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but guys, your partner may have some bigger expectations, try not to disappoint. Sex isn’t just about sexual intercourse; it’s about creating an experience that separates you from daily life and thoughts.
Breath play is simple and provides a new toy, if you will, for your sexual playtime. The basic intention is to reduce how much air flows into your partner. But whatever you do, don't get too sucked in and lazy; remember you're only using one hand at that moment. Get creative by rubbing your other hand on her breasts or clit. Don't fret if she clutches you tight and doesn't give you too much room to move. This is the high she’s supposed to have. It’s the uncertainty of the breathing with the pleasure that creates the orgasm.
Watch how she responds. Discover how her body movements change and how her breath wavers. This is the beginning of breath play exploration.
As you get more comfortable with the technique and how she likes it, try cutting off her air supply mid-thrust. There’s something about the dominance and control of breathing during sex that can escalate the orgasm high. Below are our favorite positions for implementing these techniques:
Missionary
It’s super easy to cover her mouth or nose when you’re face to face. As you get in a good groove, go for it. Don’t give her time to second guess it. That force will compel her into pure lust.
Doggy Style
This position is great for breath play. The man has control to thrust hard or soft and can cover his partner’s mouth as a type of resistance when fucking.
Sideways
When you’re fucking on your sides, you can easily access her mouth and control her breathing as you penetrate her. This also gives you great access to her tits, clitoris and ass for additional pleasure.
Level #2: Using pillows
Although this is not recommended on your first try, you'll eventually find that using pillows performs the duty of restricting airflow more than your fingers. This is because, with fingers, she still breathes through the gaps since you can’t completely cover the space. A pillow does a much better job at this.
Now that you’ve explored a bit, let's talk about pillows. There’s nothing hotter than when your girl bites the pillow during an orgasm. But what about when you cover her face with a pillow? Oh yes … that’s hot too.
Pillows are very accessible, but if you find yourself having sex on some random table, any piece of fabric will do. To get a more efficient break in oxygen flow, you can place a pillow over your partner's face. Make sure you apply some pressure but allow her to push off if it gets too unbearable. This lack of air or warm air sends loads of pleasure into your partner's body for the first few seconds. If you aren't already having sex, use your hands to explore other parts of her body occasionally.
Keep that up for a few minutes and see how audible her moans become. Suppose you don't already know what the feeling would be like; think of it as relishing two different sensations at its best. The pillow offers the feeling of being dominated while the other activity, such as sex, fingering, or nipple play, signals lovemaking. Both sensations will undoubtedly help her achieve her orgasm faster and increase her overall sexual experience.
You can use a pillow to cover over her face, but you can also push her head into it. For instance, if she’s laying on her stomach, getting fucked from behind, don’t let her just rest her head on the pillow. Instead, hold her head directly into the pillow, reducing her air flow. Trust me, this is the orgasm you both want.
Level #3: Ropes
Now that you’ve mastered the basics, let’s get a little more intense.
Ropes are a great way to have some fun with breath play. There are various applications that can limit breathing, completely cut off air flow, or cause changes in breathing.
We lead with ropes because they’re most common. However, you can literally let your mind go wild and utilize anything you’d like. You can use towels, a piece of clothing, even a whip, etc. Ropes offer great flexibility, providing an immediate mind fuck of dominance, but also wild fun for the submissive. As she finds it hard to breathe, she can be played with, pleasured, and even ride the edge before exploding cum into your mouth.
Let's consider a couple techniques.
Ropes can be used in various parts of the body to apply pressure or restraint. What's unique about using ropes, is that a rope tied anywhere, can cause changes to your breathing. It can excite, but also cause a little fear. As you place the ropes in different positions, you can see and hear the impact on breathing. Utilizing ropes like this will help you learn the level of intensity that’s best for your physical excitement.
Ropes can also be used as a chocking device. You can utilize the ropes in a way that allows to you increase/decrease the pressure being applied to the throat at any given moment. This can be like a wild roller coaster for her, as you control her highs and lows, giving in to her orgasmic needs.
Regardless of where you start or end, remember to pleasure her while adding restrictions. That’s what makes the play fun and invigorating. The goal should be to heighten her stimulation, allowing for a more powerful orgasm. Remember what we said, no laziness here.
Level #4: Choking
Did someone say, “choke me?” Yes, please!
If you've performed various breath play options and both of you are enjoying the edge, you and your partner should be ready to get more intimate. That’s where choking comes in.
The neck is one of the most, if not the most sensitive part of a woman's body, it needs more than a simple careless touch or graze as you might have thought. Those who have engaged in breath play more can attest to the power that choking has on both participants. It’s dominance, trust, control and breath play all in one.
There are various ways to utilize choking. We have outlined a few options below, depending on when you want to use it.
Pre-game
While performing this or any breath play on your partner, you want to get your mouth as busy as possible, and this is to keep her distracted. One way is to lay above her and suck on her nipples as you squeeze her neck gently. While she's busy delving into that delightful sensation, you can reach one of your hands to her clitoris or breasts. Take a moment to make eye contact during this interaction. It builds a deep connection of trust. All this can be done before having sex.
Game time
Choking can be applied in almost any sexual position, although some may be more pleasurable than others. Also, some may allow for a better grip and control of your hand placement. When you’re having sex, choke her right before she cums. When you know she’s close, use choking as a last-minute enhancement to increase the quality of the orgasm.
Post-game
As you’re finishing your sex session, don’t forget about chocking. You haven’t missed your opportunity yet. While you’re both recovering from your recent romp (hopefully you’re getting ready for round two), slowly glide your hands over her body. Start at her legs and then move up to her stomach and breasts. As you approach her throat, wrap your hands around her neck, applying more pressure. Just as she wants to ask you what’s going on, start squeezing and immediately touch her clit. Stare into her eyes and tell her to cum one last time for you. She will.
Keep in mind, choking is very serious play. Focus on understanding tolerant levels, pressure and effects. Communicate throughout the experience until both of you are comfortable. After a few sessions, you’ll be ready (and willing) to utilize choking on a regular basis. As always, with these bite-sized pieces of BDSM fun … it hurts so good.
A couple things to remember, breath play is very effective in other areas of the body. The neck, the chest, the belly, etc. It doesn't matter where - it works. Since breath play can be combined with almost any erotic pleasure, experiment often and consider it the perfect complement to your dirtiest desires.