Restraints: No Control
We often hear that couples want to give their partners toe-curling, back-aching, screaming orgasms. The orgasms that keep you coming back for more. The ones that won’t let you leave your partner’s sheets. When you’ve had all the “normal” sex you could have, when you’re past vaginal penetration, oral, masturbation, etc.; what’s left? Welcome to the introduction of BDSM, roleplaying, fantasy, use of restraints, and so much more.
For every orgasm-seeking couple, kinky sex is needed; you need to introduce more into your sheets to achieve a mouthwatering orgasm.
You wake up, with your man beside you still sleeping, and you don't know what to do to him; here is an idea … since he is surely having his morning erection, get up silently, so as not to wake him up, go to your refrigerator. If you have honey, put a little in your mouth, get back in the room, get on all fours, gently bring out his cock, wrap your lips around it and start sucking. The honey sensation is needed, it feels cold on him, it’s exhilarating. Slowly start sucking and stroking gently. By now he is probably moaning, and he is trying to be awake to check if it is reality or his dream … don’t stop.
Continue, go deeper, suck as your life depends on it; his cock is bulging, ready to have a fresh release, stop immediately; you should have that sweet delight inside you. Plump your ass directly on his penis in the cowgirl position and have a slow ride. By now, his eyes are sure to be opened; upon his realization that you are real, pin his hands to sheet with your knees, do not let him grab your butt, you are in charge!
Place a finger on your lips to shush him up, continue riding slowly, by now he is losing control of himself, desperately wanting to take charge to teach you a lesson. Look at him in the eye and tell him there will be a punishment if he doesn't let you finish what you started. Maintain eye contact, increase your pace, ride faster! Have him say your name while you both find your release.
This is where restraint was born. Simple human to human contact, with only you or him in control. But that’s only the beginning.
How to Introduce Restraints
Communication is key upon introducing any sexual activity, aside from the general one of vaginal penetration. To pleasure your partner, you must have communicated so that their body is ready to receive you.
There are different forms of kinks, and there is the BDSM, Roleplaying and Fantasy, Fetish, Restraints, amongst others. Kink can look very different to every couple, and that's okay. Exploring kink with restraints is merely a break away from your regular bedroom routine as you engage in new aspects of sex, particularly those considered dirty, raw or wildly different.
The core tenets of any successful kinky sex are like those of any strong term relationship: communication, trust, understanding, and patience. Do not let socially-construed taboos get in your way of pleasure; at OTN, we fully support your deepest kink levels.
Ways to Restrain Your Partner
Always start by discussing your preferences, what you both want, what you like, and how you want it to be done—safe words (or other ways to stop the scene) and what anyone might require for aftercare. When restraining anyone, safety is a core component.
When starting, ensure the restraints or your grip is not too tight and avoid joints. For example, if you are holding someone's arms behind their back, grip their lower forearms rather than their wrists. Do not restrain someone by the neck. Do engage in some choking, if you’re looking for that type of restraint. Check circulation by looking out for the skin when it either turns white or blue, or ask your partner to tell you if they start feeling uncomfortable and make sure you can release them quickly, either by undoing the restraints immediately or by keeping a pair of flat bandage scissors on hand for role play.
There are millions of options to restrain someone, but we’ve outlined a few to get you started.
Zip ties and tape
Pinning someone down is often the easiest and fastest way to restrain them, particularly if they want to struggle a little. And there’s nothing wrong with a little struggle. But this time, focus on her legs. Gently push her to bed, eyes locked on each other. Grab her ankles when she least expects it and restrain them with zip ties or tape. Then climb on top of her, using your weight to take over her entire body. Her hips will start arching and struggling to reach up. But keep her pinned down with your body while kissing her all over. Gently spread her legs into a butterfly shape. Use your free hand on her clit. She's right there at your mercy. Lift her butterflied legs up and then push toward her chest; enter her tight pussy. Holding her wrists tight in your hand, pound her repeatedly, until she screams in pleasure.
Ropes
There is an excitement attached with using rope, which is why rope continues to be a favorite for BDSM related activities. To get started, gently tie her hands to the back, have her bend over the bed, stomach down. Stimulate her with a sex toy, preferably a butt plug, teasing her butt hole. Then gently rub her clit with a vibrator. Slowly insert your cock into her vagina and the plug into her anus, devour her ferociously, letting her weep for more. With the ropes tied around her, she's begging to be let loose because the pleasure building inside is so great. Do not stop and do not let her loose. Fuck submission into her. Then gladly loosen the ropes. By now her body is limp; let her fall against you. Then as you relax her, eat her pussy slowly. Barely flicking your tongue at first, and then sucking on her clit. She will always want just one more.
Handcuffs
The beauty of handcuffs in restraining your partner cannot be overemphasized, and I mean, what is restraint without cuffs. It goes like this … your man comes in late from work and needs to be punished. Tell him you have a surprise for him. Lean into your man and tell him to close his eyes. He will – he'll be curious. Then put his hands to the back and cuff him, yes, assume the role of a police officer. Tell him you want to punish him for being late. Push him onto a chair as you begin a seductive strip dance. By now his cock is trying to burst out of his jeans. Go down on your knees and assist him in bringing out his hard cock. Then pop it into your mouth, suck like your survival depends on it. Then straddle his dick reverse cowgirl style, letting him enjoy you from the inside. Keep fucking him so he can feel your supple ass cheeks devouring his cock. Let it slip in and out while he watches your butt cheeks juggling around his penis. Bounce more and more until he explodes.
DIY
If you've used all the formal restraints, but you’re still looking for something new, it’s time to DIY that shit. You probably already own scarves, ties, or pantyhose. So, when your woman comes visiting at work, and you want to take her right there on your desk, tell here to stay on her feet. If she has a scarf on, great! If she doesn't, use a tie or a belt. Tie it around her wrists and keep her in the missionary position with her legs spread wide apart and her pussy staring right at you. Spit a little on her clit, then rub your tongue through it. Make her cum in your mouth as you swallow every drop. Then insert your penis immediately and take her anyway you want it.
Full body
If you’ve completed the list above, it’s time to venture into full body restraint. Either partner can do this, although it’s typically the female who is tied up. There are numerous ways to enjoy full body restraint. The most popular is tying your partner to the bed. It’s a great step for something new, but OTN prefers to push you out of your comfort zone a bit more. So, when you’re ready, consider things like, tying up your partner using hooks on the ceiling or a fan, outside using lamps and light fixtures as anchors, or even in the kitchen utilizing draws and the refrigerator. All these pieces can create a full body tie down. Then the fun begins … taunt and tease, use new toys, and most of all, edge the experience. Resist instant orgasms in favor of riding the edge for 30 – 45 minutes first. Trust me, your orgasm will be like nothing you’ve ever had.
Using restraints is a powerful new way to enjoy each other’s bodies and increase your pleasure. The first part is just discovery of what both of you like and prefer. Then it’s the implementation that makes all the difference. Restraints are perfect for spontaneous rendezvous and more lavish excursions. Wherever you choose to start, just get into it.