Foreplay May Change But Skipping It Is The Worst Idea Ever
If you ask me (and most of society), foreplay is the glue that holds any sexual relationship together. It’s the salacious acts that a couple engage in that lead them on the road to pound town. The energy changes as the sexual tension builds during foreplay, creating an atmosphere where time and reality cease to exist, and the only thing that matters is what’s happening in those moments between you two horned up lovebirds and your throbbing lust for one another.
More than likely, foreplay has changed for you and your partner over the course of your relationship. Perhaps it has come to a halt recently and you want it back, or it has blossomed into full blown, anything and everything goes sexual madness! Time can do a lot of things to a relationship, but one thing it should never do is eliminate foreplay…
I want you to think back to the different stages in your relationship and what types of foreplay you engaged in throughout each. Which parts where your favorites and which parts could use a pick me up? It’s a conversation that you and your partner should have over a nice bottle of wine and some mood music, because the mere mention of discussing your sexual history out loud is a healthy step, and one which leads to happiness and probably the bedroom.
La La Land
The first stages of your relationship are more than likely the most passionate days you can think of. I call it La La Land because that’s how it feels, you aren’t totally in control of your emotions or hormones for that matter, and everything is so intense it leaves you feeling like you’ve had some sort of life-happiness drug. This time is often nicknamed “The Honeymoon Phase” as in the good old days of no sex before marriage, when the honeymoon was the first time you got to ravage your partner. Those first few months are filled with hormone fueled lust, secret romps wherever you can, and backseat make out sessions that aren’t for the faint hearted.
Most of our encounters with new partners are frenzied in nature with a lot of busy hands fumbling with buttons, zippers and bra clasps. The first kiss is so anticipated that when it does happen, all rules go out the window, it’s game on. These moments of exploration and awe, when we began to figure out every sexy curve and lump on his/her body with our hands and mouths, are etched into our memories with favored emotion. The sweet assault on our senses finding out how the other person smells, tastes and feels will remain forever.
You might pick up on subtle hints of their wicked desires as you discover how far to push boundaries with your new lover, what they’re into and what they’re not. For example, if he holds your wrists, pulls your hair while he licks your neck, or touches your throat during foreplay, you can presume that further down the track he might be into handcuffs and a bit of bondage gear. The intensity during foreplay should give you all the clues you need to do deeper, more hidden fetishes.
How About Now?
After the honeymoon period settles down, so too may the frenzy of foreplay and intercourse. The stage after the initial pairing usually involves more risqué play and exploration of fantasies. These are the times you may worry if they’re still into you because the heat, intensity and frequency of your love making has simmered from well done to medium rare, but I assure you it’s all very normal. This is when you start to know your partner on a deeper level, when you try to find out what makes their inner sex beast tick, and how you can keep that sexual fire alive in the bedroom.
Lingerie is a big one in the 2nd stage, as are mild props and toys, such as the pre mentioned handcuffs. By now you may be asking each other what you like the most in the bedroom, which positions you both prefer, and which mild fantasy play you can both indulge in. The foreplay in this stage hits a new wildly inquisitive, yet calmer level as your trust strengthens and grows.
I’d call this the cheeky sex stage, where trying wild new ideas will be the new normal and pushing boundaries for the sake of it will happen more frequently behind closed doors. This stage is legendary for the awkward conversations surrounding sex acts that you might want to try (most are from a bizarre porno they watched one time), secret kinks you might be into (like having your ass eaten out) or just plain fun and laughs involving foreplay (like that one time with my partner, his dick and a grapefruit… Messy, but etched into my mind for eternity). These are some of the most memorable for being pleasurable to the soul as well as the body. These times bring couple’s closer, and your trust in each other will grow and blossom well beyond the point of when you were simply first date fools.
The Honeymoon is Over Baby
I don’t want to alarm you by this lackluster part of all relationships so I’ll keep it short, just like this stage should be kept to. After about a year, maybe a little more, your relationship may enter the land of the dull. Sex might be brought down to a minimum due to the everyday hectic lifestyles you both lead, and the sad truth emerges that the first stage bliss has died down to mediocre, once a week, vanilla sex. Foreplay has been reduced to a quick blowjob or pussy licking before jamming in the meat. Passionate snuggling has all but faded and lube has become a necessity, a quick squeeze of it and in he goes! Sad times my friends, sad times. But here’s the clincher: It’s not your fault, it’s completely normal and you can get out of it sooner than you think.
Once you realize that you’re in this stage, then it’s time to have a one-on-one with your partner about ways to improve it. This conversation breaks the ice, instantly releasing hidden stress, self-doubt and denial about your relationship that has been building up. Toxic thoughts like you’re not good enough, or that your partner is cheating, will vanish once you realize and acknowledge that your love for each other hasn’t gone anywhere. The heat dies down for everyone after a while no matter what kind of bullshit they say. No Linda, I don’t believe you and Chad do it 3 times a day…
Rest assured the flame of passion is still there, however dim it may have become. It just needs a tiny drop of gasoline to become the raging inferno that is the next and best part, the awakening of the sexual God and Goddess inside you!
Till Death Do Us Have Great Sex
So you’ve reached Nirvana have you? Welcome and congratulations! You’re in the best stage of life with your partner now and are stronger as a unit than you ever thought possible. This is the stage of anything, and everything goes, and where you know and understand one another’s body on an intellectual, sexual and spiritual level. Trust has grown and blossomed into the ability for you to release your wildest inhibitions with each other, exploring the realms of your sexuality in ways you never thought possible. There is no time or need to be shy anymore, pull out those wild, and even dark fantasies to indulge in with your partner. The best thing is that new products and sexy attire/costumes/lingerie are being added every second, so it’s time to build up a collection of every sex accessory you’ve ever wished for and throw on that zip-up, skin-tight catsuit. The fire won’t be going out anytime soon I can guarantee it.
Looking back through your relationship, it won’t be the hundreds and thousands of quickies you’ve had, or the programmed weekly “roll over” sessions lasting a good 6 minutes that you will remember. It will be the passionate snuggling when his package was bulging at the seams and your panties were dripping wet, the hormones flying in the air, your frantic hands breaking zips and ripping buttons to get to those sweet spots, those pieces of fruit you savaged with your genitals *refer to stage 2… You’ll remember the foreplay for the raunchy times where you let your inhibitions free, those hot date nights where boundaries were broken, and the rule book to the ‘Art of Fucking’ flew out the window with your panties.