The Striptease NEVER Fails
Do you recall the 2013 film Meet the Millers? It’s a comedy about a fake family smuggling drugs across the US border, but most don’t remember it for the story line. They remember it for a scene involving Jennifer Aniston, a bucket of water and a dirty garage. The scene shows Aniston performing a striptease to get the family out of trouble, and it’s one that goes down in the history of hot moments on screen.
Her character uses what is available to her at the time; water and a thick chain hanging from the roof. Seductively she peels off her housewife clothing, ending up in only a dripping wet, see-through buttoned shirt, bra and panties. The scene became famous in seconds, showcasing Aniston’s hot body and sexy moves. Her fake husband, and even her fake teenage son was speechless, jaws on the floor as her glistening, bra-clad breasts and thighs shook in slow motion, blinding the bad guy with his own testosterone high. Why was it so effective though? Because it was totally unexpected from the character of a supposedly boring, suburban housewife.
There’s a reason why strip clubs around the globe are raking in millions each year, men love to watch women dance in barely any clothes and will pay good money for it! Here’s the thing, most strippers aren’t very good at the dancing aspect, and they don’t have to be, it’s all about the seduction. The tease of “you can look but don’t touch” arouses men in a way like no other.
The strippers who make the most money, are the ones who swing their bodies around poles like Cirque De Soleil performers, and the ones who provide lap dances for patrons. If your man desires a special dance from a hot woman, then let’s make it from you.
The Seduction of the Pole Dancer
I’m going to let you in on some sexy secrets so hot, he’ll be stuffing cash into your panties instead of paying for ‘Miss Candy’s’ college fund. How about YOU be the stripper of his wildest dreams? I’m talking about getting fit and toned while turning your man on more than ever before. Ladies, it’s time to buy a stripper pole. Or fuck it … your man can buy one for you!
The pole dancing craze has taken off in recent years, whereas once it was considered taboo. Classes for anyone who wants them are now readily available in studios across the globe and online. The world began viewing the dance as an art form, even creating competitions for the most skilled performers, airing them on daytime tv. This led to manufacturers uncovering a gold mine, selling stripper poles to everyday people that they could set up in the privacy of their own homes.
Prices for stripper poles start anywhere between $50 and $500 depending on your budget, and the sturdiness you require. You really do pay for quality here so keep that in mind when choosing the right pole for you. Browse through the wide range they have online, but in my opinion the best ones are made by brands like X Pole, Lil Mynx and PoleDanzer. You can even buy great quality poles on Amazon and have all of it delivered to your front door. Here’s my personal tip though, avoid styles with any plastic parts, you’ll want to keep it for as long as possible and plastic isn’t strong or durable enough.
The poles are easy to install, and some don’t even have to attach to your ceiling. Whichever style you do choose, make sure it’s properly set up and secured before attempting any moves (you don’t want to cripple yourself before the fun begins). Also investigate gripping products for your hands as this will save a lot of accidental slipping and painful injuries.
Choreograph and practice your own routine in private before you showcase it to your partner. This will give you more confidence in your abilities, and confidence equals sexy in the eyes of men. It doesn’t have to be an elaborate Burlesque show, he’ll be excited enough for whatever you wish to present to him. Simple is actually best to begin with. I wouldn’t recommend attempting an ‘Aerial Invert’, ‘Ankle Hang’ or the ‘Dangerous Bird’ until you have some experience under your belt (look them up online but don’t try them yet).
Set the scene with dimmed lights or have a few candles burning for that extra exotic element. Have some mood music playing (anything that sounds good when you’re getting your sexy on) and sit your partner in a chair close, but not too close. Wear whatever you’re comfortable in, whether that be a raunchy outfit with a laced-up corset, suspenders and fishnet stockings, or your man’s oversized business shirt with just your panties underneath (I promise it’s a winner).
Just one or 2 spins around your pole, even if your feet stay on the ground, is all you would need to make him weak at the knees and horny as fuck. If even that sounds too tricky, just use it as a prop to dance around while you slowly strip off your clothes.
Erotic dancing is easier than you think, it’s all about moving your body in a slow and sensual manner and in this case, around a long, hard pole... The pole itself is a phallic symbol which is why anything works. Men see the pole as an extension of their own dicks, so pretend it is.
When it’s time for your rehearsed or made-up-on-the-spot routine, you will have his full attention, the drool on his lips pooling on the floor. Be prepared for an animalistic response to your sexy dance, he’ll be wanting to pounce on you like a horny lion. Or you can make him wait a little longer, by giving him something extra…
The Tantalizing Lap Dance
If you asked most men what the best part about going to the strip club is, their answers would be titties and lap dances! Guess what ladies, you can provide both these things to your partner with a lap dance of your own. Once again it can be simple or elaborate, and as technical as your skills allow for. It could be a belly dance or a hip hop routine, it will be the best show he’s ever been to.
All you need to remember is this: The more your ass and tits are near his face or crotch, the better! Remind him he can look but not touch while straddling him and rubbing your titties in his face. Keep the same rules as would be in a strip club. He’ll need reminding with a playful slap to his wandering hands, or you can threaten to call your imaginary bodyguard if he keeps it up!
Sit on his lap, arched back and roll your hips back and forward, grinding on his hardened cock like it was inside you. Do this softly at first, awakening that animal in his pants with the gentle strokes of your ass and pussy. Turned on and under your love spell, he’ll be begging to fuck you senseless and booking his tickets for your next show!
The Logistics
Much like all fun activities in life, there are some things you should be aware of before you jump in headfirst, literally… With both of your newfound talents there are serious risks of injury to both you and your partner if not done correctly, as both require a degree of physical exertion. You might be thinking “How much trouble can I really get into giving him a pole dance?” The answer is a lot. Follow our tips below to learn more.
The first thing you 100% must do is stretch out the muscles in your body before attempting a pole or lap dance. Even the tamer lap dance will require you to use muscles that have been asleep for a while, (perhaps even years) so you need to wake them up and warm them up, or you’ll tear them up. There’s nothing sexy about throwing your leg over your partner’s shoulder and ripping a hamstring, so take time to warm up before practicing and performing. I’m talking head to toe stretching of your entire body including and especially your neck, back and legs.
You and your partner’s physical health needs are priority and always need to be addressed. It would be a huge shame don’t want to injure your biggest fan and it’s possible in many ways to cause damage, through a harmless lap dance. Consider issues such as their back and heart. If they have any prior conditions, you don’t want to exacerbate that by doing a reverse wheelbarrow on their shoulders! Keep it simple if either of you has any physical ailments, gently touching them, brushing past them is more than enough of a turn on to make you both happy without ruining sexy time.
Regarding pole dancing there’s a lot of things to consider when giving a great performance. The safety aspect begins the second you select a pole. You want one that is durable, can hold you weight comfortably and has a warranty for peace of mind. Installation must be well thought out and executed with precision, or it can and will fall with you still on it. The area in your home must be free from hazards, as the more advanced you get, the more room you will need to swing your body around. I mentioned earlier that there are products for gripping the pole and you can’t skip these. Your hands and the pole end up covered in sweat which will make you slide off it like you’re at an adventure park. There are types of wax you can buy specifically for pole dancing, and even gripping gloves to prevent you from slipping off. As a beginner do NOT try fancier moves you’ve seen women do on YouTube, save those for down the track.
The Must Haves for an Erotic Pole Dance
Now let’s talk about how you give him a perfect pole dance. There are some key elements to include that guarantee his face will be lighting up with hearts in his eyes. Follow our simple guidelines below:
Dress the part. This can range from a full outfit to skimpy lingerie. The truth is, it doesn’t matter. What does matter is that you have sexed it up in every way possible. From make-up to high heels, to your bra and panties, to your hair and even accessories like body chains; everything you use, and wear should say “sex.” Ultimately, you’re trying to create the strip club and everything that goes with it, so play the part.
Go with the music. An amazing pole dance doesn’t require doing the splits in the air. However, it does require that you use the music to guide your movements and create a show-stopping event. If you’re completely out of sync, it will feel forced and lack the sex appeal you need to keep his attention. Select your music thoughtfully and use its rhythm to guide your body. Slow or fast, go with what you love and what you feel. That's the only way to really create a pole dance like the club.
Don’t touch. For the first part of your dance, don’t allow him to touch you. Your man can film you, take pictures, and sit and drool; BUT he cannot touch you. This is one of the few scenarios, that you, as the female, run the show. When it’s time to touch, you’ll initiate.
Seduce. Every move you make should seduce your man. You can plan your routine, or just go with the flow. Some females are more comfortable, but if you’re not, take some time to plan so you feel comfortable when the time comes. Then the goal is simple ... seduce, entice and excite. And ladies, there are so many options. Here are a few to help you get started:
Grip the pole, spinning around, so your man can see your naked ass cheeks with just a string in between. He will love watching your tits as they fly through the air.
Hold onto the pole and grind up against it. Hump the pole to the beat of the music, slowly touching the pole with your pussy and then backing away. This motion is pure sex, and your man knows it.
Stand in front of the pole, leaning your back against it. Squat down and butterfly open your legs, so he can see your pussy. Remember ladies, your pussy is his heaven; don’t hide it.
Get on the floor and spread your legs in multiple positions, smack your ass and touch your body everywhere. This helps him envision all the things he could be doing and touching on you.
If you’re more advanced, spin any way you want on the pole. He’ll enjoy the view from every angle.
Bend over in front of your man. It might seem weird or awkward, but there is nothing a man loves more than staring at your ass, spread wide open. His thoughts will quickly range from licking your pussy to fucking your pussy, and then to fucking your ass. Trust me, you have his attention now.
Remove clothes slowly. We typically recommend that you never get completely naked. This is because it's truly powerful to leave a little something to the imagination. A next phase, if you will, to the sexual tease and pleasure. If you’re in lingerie, go even slower, as you don’t have a lot of clothes to remove. Keep your thong on for the entire dance. Conversely, if you have a sexy tight dress over your lingerie, you can use it for fun and then remove it, revealing your lingerie underneath. Your high heels always stay on. That’s the dream ladies – don't ruin it.
Make eye contact. With every move you make and every spin, stare directly at him. Point to him. Lick your finger and then slide it down over your nipples, until you reach your pussy. The connection is crucial during a pole dance. You’re not touching, so eye contact is imperative.
The Must Haves for an Erotic Lap Dance
When your pole dance is over, it’s easy to transition into a lap dance. And just like a pole dance, there are some must haves. Check out our list below:
Crawl to your man. Get on your hands and knees, and crawl to your man. He doesn’t need to move. You go to him and let him know that you are his and his only. He is your king, and you bow to his sexual needs.
You touch him – he doesn’t touch you. Like we said, you run the show. From here, you get to touch him as much as you’d like, yet his permissions should still be restricted.
Take some of his clothes off. This isn’t a real club, so exploit that. We recommend just underwear for him, so he can enjoy skin-on-skin action. This will give him full sensitivity as you touch him.
Stand up. Men love having you almost naked and so close they could touch you. They want to smell you, see you, feel your skin. So, stand up and get as close as you can, make eye contact, and feel the connection.
Straddle and grind. After you stand up, lean into him, grab his dick. Position it just as you like. He won’t mind. Then straddle his lap, grinding on his dick. Remember, your panties/thong are still on. Glide your nipples all over his face, including his lips and eyes. You can also consider the reverse cowgirl. It’s always a crowd pleaser when it comes to grinding and teasing. Mix up the positions or save one for the next lap dance. For the reverse cowgirl, make sure you have your booty popped out. You know he loves that.
Expose yourself. After you’ve grinded, give him a break. Stand up again and lift one leg, placing it on the top of the chair or couch. Press the back of his head close to your pussy. Temporarily move your G-string to the side, so he can see it all. Then glide his head on your thigh. He will be in total ecstasy.
Go sideways. It’s surprising to see how many females miss this opportunity. If you’re on a couch, use it. Get on all fours with him in the middle, so that your knees are on one side of him and your arms on the other. From here, you can grind on his dick using your mid-section and he can stare at your sexy ass as you do it.
Blow job. When it’s just you and your man, all good lap dances should end with one hell of a blow job. Pull his underwear down and put that dick in your mouth.
Oh, and let him know that now he can touch you. 😉
Practice Makes Perfect
My number one tip is to practice your routines as much as you can in private. Do some online research and watch some tutorials on both lap dances and pole dancing, otherwise book yourself in for classes. If you’d rather practice at home all you need is a mirror, a kitchen chair and some music. Watching yourself in a mirror is a trick used by every dancer in the world to see how their bodies move and flow with the music. It not only shows you things to improve but also gives you a boost of confidence, watching yourself move like a seductress, just as he will be watching you.
Above all else have fun with it and try letting go of your inhibitions. Everyone can do it no matter who they are and when you look it up, you will realize that. Start small and aim high, with practice and some thought for your safety, you can seductively dance for your partner without the need for an ambulance.
It’s All About the Tease…
What makes strip shows, pole dancing and lap dances work so well is the seductive art of teasing. It’s the same with anything, sit someone in front of a donut when they’re starving and tell them not to eat it. They’ll want to eat it 10 times more and probably will. It’s the same with you slowly taking your clothes off in front of your partner and telling him not to devour you. It’s only a matter of time girl.
Whether you hate exercise or not, you’re going to love your stripper pole. You’ll be awakening muscles in your body you thought jumped ship years ago, whilst having fun and learning techniques to wow your partner with. Unlike other purchases you make online, your partner will volunteer in a heartbeat to pay for and install this one. Then all it takes is 5-10 minutes a day to change everything. Your routine will become more advanced in time, and you won’t even notice it’s exercise, because it’s fun.
You can incorporate your pole dance and lap dance into one or keep your sultry performances for separate occasions. All of it will be immediately welcomed by your partner as a much desired and anticipated activity, one to always be included in your soon-to-be amazing sex life.
The literal definition of the word stripper is someone who takes their clothes off for money. If you want to make it more authentic, have him stuff dollar bills in your panties. If that doesn’t happen just raid his wallet and your joint bank account when he falls asleep after the awesome sex, just like a good stripper would.
With practice you can be just as good as a professional pole dancer, but even as a beginner you can make him as horny as a wild animal! He’ll be wearing a smile to work every day knowing he’s going to the strip club when his shift ends.