Do You Know How to Mind Fuck?
What do you think of when you hear the term mind fuck? Narcissistic parents? Abusive past lovers? That psychotic bitch of a friend who gaslit you at every opportunity? All the above are legit mind fuckers – or just nasty fuckers – but we’re talking about a different kind of mind fucking. A deliciously dark kind that can totally mess with your lover’s head in the most salacious way.
We’re talking about the sexual mind fuck.
What is a Sexual Mind Fuck?
Broadly speaking, a mind fuck is sex without contact. That’s broadly speaking. But within that definition there is a huge array of ways to use the mind in a sexual relationship, that range from mild flirtation to out and out S&M roleplay.
How do you Have Sex Without Contact?
Oh, you are in for a treat. A mind fuck uses words and not physical touch to elicit a reaction, and it can be as powerful as, well, fucking. Much more than talking dirty, the words used in mind fucking actually take the place of your lover’s hands, their tongue, their breath on your neck. When a skilled wordsmith decides to fuck you, you will feel every inch of him as he tells you he’s entering you as surely as if he is inside you for real. And it’s not just men with this extraordinary power; women can be just as adept as men at getting the proverbial juices going using just their words.
Mind fucking can be done when you’re together, but it can also be done while you’re apart, making it a fantastic way for couples to stay intimate even when they’re miles away. In fact, the best mind fucks are done between people who know each other inside out, and yes, I do mean that literally, because they will be recreating in your mind the actual sensations of being well and truly fucked.
It’s not just about penetration, though. Oh, no... a mind fuck can last for hours, and the build-up can lead to the most explosive orgasms because all that virtual foreplay has got to culminate in some kind of release; aka an orgasm.
How Do You Mind Fuck?
Mind fucking is all about anticipation, whatever scenario you find yourself in. You need to tease, tantalize, and trip your partner’s mind into having a visceral reaction that will blow their mind.
How you do it is up to you, but for it to be really intense, you need to do away with feeling coy or embarrassed and really use words that invoke an almost primal reaction.
For example, telling your partner that you want to make love to them is nice, but do you want to settle for ‘nice?’ Telling them you want to fuck them is much more powerful. But again, there is much more to it than that.
Imagine this:
Your husband is away on a business trip. You know he’s about to go into a business meeting, so a few minutes before the allotted time, you send him a message...
“I was thinking about you...”
Just that. You’ve piqued his interest, but his mind is on the meeting still.
“I was thinking about the other night...”
Now he’s intrigued. Which other night? He might reply and ask you.
You send him a photograph. Nothing blatant; perhaps a shot of your thighs, maybe your unmade bed. Something abstract but suggestive.
He knows this is going somewhere, but the elusive wording and random photo is also confusing him, and as human beings we love to solve things, and will run them through our minds until we do. Which of course means that you are now firmly on his mind.
“Do you remember how I felt the other night...?”
Now he knows for sure that this is sexual, and will be slightly panicking because he needs to keep his wits about him for work, but just the thought of the night you’re alluding to is giving him a hard on in his smart suit pants.
You look at the clock and know that he’s about to head into the board room.
“Think about the way my lips felt as they encircled your cock...”
Work will be deliciously unbearable for him now, and while he might be concentrating on the meeting in hand, what he really wants in his hand is his cock, because it’s throbbing painfully under the table and is threatening to lift that mahogany slab like a levitating table at a séance.
You send him another text, knowing his phone is on silent but is probably on vibrate. This time it could be a close up of your lips, red and shiny with lip gloss, slightly parted. You could amp up the playfulness and be sucking a popsicle, or eating a banana. Even if he doesn’t look at his phone right then, just knowing that there’s something there that he needs to see will have his mind all over the place, and he’ll rush back to his office or the bathroom to see what you’ve sent as soon as he can.
All you’ve done is send him half a dozen messages, but you’ve already had him straining at his zipper for an hour or more – that's probably longer than an entire sex session lasts, am I right?
This can go on all day. Be mysterious and leave each text with a ‘...’ so he knows that there is more coming.
Describe to him what you are doing to him, except that now you switch to real time. For example:
“I start at your forehead, and slowly...oh so slowly...run my tongue down your jawline...until I find your lips. Gently I kiss you...before I slide my tongue deeper into your mouth...I’m moving down now...to your chin, and your neck. I’m gently biting that spot on your neck that drives you wild...you feel my hot breath on your ear...”
Each text might only be a few words long, but it builds the anticipation, and you haven’t even said anything overtly sexual. If you see that he’s texting you back you can stop him.
“Sshh...don’t say anything, just listen.” (Of course, he’s not technically listening, but believe me, he will be hearing your voice as he reads).
Now you can start to have fun.
“My tongue moves further down your chest...teasing your stomach...and you feel me breathing on your cock...your hard, throbbing cock...and you’re moaning as I move to the side and continue running my tongue down to your thighs...”
You can also include instructions in there. You can tell him he’s not allowed to touch himself until you say so. You can tell him to follow the path of your ‘tongue’ with his fingers. The floor is yours, and you are absolutely in charge; bonus points if you are not usually dominant as this will only add to the mind fuck.
This could have been going on for hours, and you will have been the only thing on his mind all day. He might even have nipped to the bathroom and had a crafty wank to relieve himself, but because it’s a long-drawn-out thing that’s okay, he’ll be good to go again and again.
When you know he’s alone in his hotel room, you can either continue texting or call him, and tell him not to speak, just listen. Then you can begin to build to the climax.
“I’m moving back up to your cock now, and I take you in my mouth, the tip of your cock feeling my hot, wet mouth as it slides onto you, taking your full length in my mouth...”
While you’re doing this you can add in your own sound effects. Moan softly, breathe heavily. If you are masturbating (and you totally should, because this is as much a turn-on for you as it is for him) let him hear.
“You’re lying on your back as I slowly lower myself on to you...my hot, tight pussy swallowing your cock inside...”
You get the picture, right?
How Can it Help My Relationship?
Apart from the fact that mind fucking is unbelievably good fun and incredibly hot, it is a way to bring couples closer. A lot of people can’t bring themselves to talk dirty in the bedroom, and if that is the case for you, this is a great way to let yourself go without being face to face.
It can also be an opportunity to explore things you might not have done before; a try before you buy deal, if you like. If you don’t fancy the idea of anal sex but your partner does, you can test the waters verbally and see how you feel about it, while also giving them what they want, albeit virtually.
Being apart can be tough, and if you have to spend time away from each other, mind fucking is the perfect way to keep your relationship fresh and alive, and will bring you closer together as you share these erotic experiences.
Can it Work if We’re Not Apart?
Absofuckinglutely! You can try mind fucking while one of you is upstairs and one is downstairs. You can mess with her head as well as her pussy by mind fucking when she’s at the grocery store. You can make him want to wank while he’s working out. There are no wrong scenarios - although church is probably a no-go - but it would make dinner at the in-laws a lot more fun. The thing about this practice is that it will keep you connected; even during the humdrum of everyday life, it’s a delicious secret between the two of you, and will keep things sizzling until you can hit the sack and fuck with abandon.
Is it for Men and Women Alike?
Hell yeah. Mind fucking has no gender preference, and it is equally powerful whether it’s done by a man or a woman. He can say what he’s doing to her pussy, describe the way his tongue is licking, how she tastes as he’s drinking her juices. He can talk about sliding his hard cock into her wet pussy and lifting her legs above his shoulders. How he is licking her nipples and then blowing on them, so they instantly stiffen with the cold.
Mind Fucking and BDSM
If BDSM is in your repertoire, mind fucking can add another layer of control. Imagine being blindfolded and in a compromising position; say, naked on your knees. You can hear all the sounds – the undoing of a belt, the rattle of chains, the buzz of a sex toy – and you know what’s coming (not you, if orgasm control is also part of the games), but you don’t know when or how, or where it’s coming from. As with the business meeting scenario, it’s all about anticipation, not knowing what’s coming next, and having your other senses heightened because you don’t have sight to rely on.
In short, mind fucking is a powerful experience that can bring you and your partner closer together, keeping the spark alive even when you have been together for ever. Highly erotic, it can also be a way of exploring fantasies that you might not be ready to – or even want to – explore in reality. The above example is just one way to use it; the world is your oyster when it comes to the mind fuck, and you can mentally travel anywhere at any time and do anything to keep the sessions fresh and new.