Eating Out is the New Staying In – Your Guide to Oral Sex

When the UK government announced that the general public should ‘Eat Out to Help Out’ during the Covid pandemic, horny couples everywhere jumped for joy; in fact, the policy was adopted by people across the world. Not that we needed permission to indulge in the crème de la crème of sexual activities, but you know…our ‘countries’ needed us, right?  

We’re talking, of course, about oral sex.  

What is Oral Sex? 

To state the obvious, oral sex has nothing to do with talking about it – it’s rude to talk with your mouth full, after all. No, it’s the act of pleasuring your partner using the mouth, lips, and/or tongue.  

It comes in three flavors: fellatio, cunnilingus, and analingus. Total tongue twisters, of course, but when you look at their root, they begin to make sense; fellatio comes from the Latin ‘to suck’, cunnilingus is derived from the two Latin words for vulva (cunnus) and to lick (lingere) and well, you can work out what analingus means. 

Also known by names such as a blow job, licking out, and rimming, for example, oral sex was around even in Ancient Egypt, when Isis is said to have brought her brother back to life by giving him head. (Hey, don’t shoot the messenger, I’m not responsible for Egyptian mythology.) 

While not exactly a taboo subject thanks to these wonderful days of sexual freedom, oral sex is still not as widely discussed as other forms of lovemaking. Considering fellatio was banned in almost all states as recently as 1950, it’s not hard to see why it’s something of an unmentionable even now. Which of course makes it even more delicious.  

Fellatio – Hard to Get Your Tongue Around? 

While this isn’t intended as a how-to guide to all things BJ, those who want to get to grips with giving head will be able to get a handle on what it is and why women should be doing it. 

As we’ve already discussed, fellatio is all about using your mouth and its components (and yes that can include teeth) on his penis. Also known as cock sucking, going down, giving head, and gobbling the goose, fellatio’s most common nickname is ‘blow job,’ which causes a whole lot of confusion among first-timers, because a blow job doesn’t involve blowing at all. Ladies, it’s not a trumpet, and trying to blow on his dick to make him cum is only going to give you a few burst blood vessels in your face, and that’s not a good look for anyone. 

A more accurate name would be suck job or lick job, because that’s what giving him head is all about. You can lick his shaft, slide your lips over his helmet, suck his bell end, and masturbate him with your mouth, but the closest you should get to actually blowing is gentle whispers of breath on his cock or balls, especially when they’re wet from your own saliva, or even hornier, your pussy juice. 

Whether or not you take it to its climatic conclusion is up to you, but do bear in mind that once a man cums, it’s game over, at least for a little while. 

Cunnilingus – Getting it Licked 

Guys, this part is for you. We women are getting the short end of the dick when it comes to oral sex, because it appears that men aren’t as willing to go down on women as women are to go down on men. This fact was highlighted in 2018 when DJ Khaled claimed that he never went down on women, but expected women to go down on men, stating "there are certain things I just don't do... I believe the woman should praise the man, the king.” In response, Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson made women across the world slide off their chairs when he responded on Twitter, saying that ‘as a man, I take great pride in mastering ALL performances’ before excusing himself from the thread. 

Okay, we were all taught not to give to receive, but in the case of oral sex, ignore, ignore, ignore. If you want your woman to go down on you, it’s only right that you return the favor. 

Also known as muff diving, carpet munching, licking out, eating out, slurping, lapping, and many more names, cunnilingus primarily employs the tongue to explore and stimulate a woman’s vagina, vulva, and clitoris. It’s an art well worth mastering, because many women don’t achieve orgasm through sex alone; yes, really, sorry guys. By licking your way around her pussy, you can bring her to the brink of orgasm over and over again, before sliding inside her to finish off. 

Unlike fellatio, lapping her labia can involve sucking, whether that’s on her lips or her clitoris; gentle, pulsating sucking can drive her absolutely wild. You can also penetrate her with your tongue to add yet another sensation to the mix. 

Analingus – the Last Taboo 

Okay, so while oral sex has become a lot more acceptable to talk about, analingus is something that is rarely discussed. It’s that very fact, though, that makes it so exciting. 

Rather than being used to bring your partner off, analingus, or rimming, is a way to add something different to foreplay. As the name suggests, rimming is the act of running the tongue around the anal opening. The anus is packed with nerve endings so stimulating it with the tongue can really heighten the feeling. Add to that the forbidden nature of having your ass licked, and it becomes highly erotic. 

Why is Oral Sex so Important in a Relationship? 

There are so many reasons why going down on your partner is important. First and most obviously, it feels fantastic. Giving that pleasure to your partner can make you feel like a god or goddess and strengthen your confidence in the bedroom, which in turn will enhance your sex life. 

As mentioned before, the majority of women can’t achieve orgasm by penetration alone. This is not a reflection of a man’s sexual prowess; it’s simple biology. By going down on a woman either before or after intercourse, a man can ensure that her needs are met as well as his own. This will pay dividends both in and out of the bed, because it shows that he is considerate of what she wants and is willing to do what it takes to achieve that. 

Giving and receiving oral sex can also increase trust in a relationship. It’s one of the most intimate parts of sex and can really expose our vulnerabilities. People can be insecure about their bodies, so letting someone get as up close and personal as it is possible to be takes a lot of trust, and that shouldn’t be underestimated. 

Going down on your partner can also put some worries to bed, as it were. Most men are familiar with what their cock looks like, but many women really don’t know how their pussy appears. It’s something of an unknown for women, even if they masturbate; they might know how it feels, but unless they use a mirror, its appearance can remain a mystery. Having her man literally worship her vagina will show her that it’s a thing to be adored and loved, so she will be much more open to intimacy.  

Oral sex is also a great way to ensure you are in the moment. If you’ve ever been guilty of letting your mind wander while having sex, you’ll understand how you can zone out. With oral sex that’s pretty much impossible. For the giver, you must concentrate on what you’re doing, because your mind cannot ignore what’s literally staring you in the face, and for the receiver it produces such intense feelings that your mind simply can’t be anywhere else. It puts you both in the moment and allows you to reconnect, something that’s vital in an intimate relationship. 

Of course, oral sex is often given and reciprocated (and thanks to the 69 position it can be both at the same time), but sometimes it’s nice to just be indulged. Having your man lick you out with no need to return the favor, or seeing your partner drop to her knees and suck you off without asking for anything in return, feels both indulgent and powerful at the same time. It tells you that your partner respects you and your needs and wants to make you feel good. 

There’s another reason that oral sex is so vital in a relationship, ED, or erectile dysfunction. This could be for medical reasons, age, or simply that you’re too tired, but that doesn’t mean that your good lady has to miss out, too. Oral sex is potent, and you can go from zero to hero in 60 seconds flat by skillfully working her clit with your tongue. She won’t feel ignored, and you won’t feel like you can’t satisfy your woman. 

In conclusion …

It can be easy to fall into the same routine when you’ve been together for a long time but keeping oral sex in the mix (or reintroducing it if you’ve neglected the area for a while) can bring back vitality. Sucking cock and licking clit can be wet, wild, and noisy, which is part of the fun, and it can save even the most jaded of relationships from falling into a dull routine.

Embrace the mess and the deliciousness. 

Next
Next

3 New Ways to Give Her The Oral “O”