Using Mind Games to Your Advantage
Pick up any glossy magazine and you will invariably come across an article that slates the idea of playing mind games in a relationship. But what if mind games could be good? Imagine if messing with your lover’s head could get him so horny that he almost cums in his pants. Picture your other half being so wet that she literally has to hold on to her desk for fear of sliding off her chair. If you could have that kind of power, would you want it? Of course you would, duh.
There are lots of subtle ways to use the mind to develop a relationship; small, silly little things that actually pay huge dividends. For example, you could make a mental note (or even a physical one) of things she’s mentioned that she likes in the store or on TV, and then surprise her with one of them out of the blue. Or you could ask his opinion on things and really listen to what he has to say, whether that’s about politics, the weather, or the latest season of Stranger Things. Both of these scenarios will make them feel like they’re important and that you are really interested, but while these strategies might get you a head start into her knickers, or just a head start on getting head, they will only take you so far.
The kind of mind games we’re talking about are serious, all-encompassing, fuck-me-right-now methods that will not only have your other half panting at your feet, but will elevate your relationship to a higher level than you ever thought possible.
And they will mean your lover will never want – or need – to cheat. Now that’s power.
Are You Sitting Comfortably? Then We’ll Begin...
While mobile phones can be a bloody scourge, in this case they are the best sex toy you could ever possess, giving you the means to make your lover gag for it no matter where you, or they, are.
Imagine this:
Your lover is about to go into a meeting. It’s a big deal but deathly boring and she’s not looking forward to it at all. You know what time it starts so you drop her a text message, but instead of saying ‘hi,’ or ‘good luck,’ you say something like:
“I was just thinking about that night...”
She’ll have one eye on the door of the board room, but will be curious, so she’ll ask you what night.
“The night I made you cum seven times.”
Her boss is calling her in, but now her mind is firmly on you and how you gave her multiple orgasms. She may or may not reply, but you can guarantee that her meeting has just become a whole lot more interesting. So you text her again, knowing her phone is on vibrate. While her mind will be on the meeting in hand, her mind will be on your cock in her hand, or her mouth, or wherever else it was on the night in question, and although she won’t be able to look at the text, she’ll know it’s there and it will play on her mind throughout.
Then you can continue to tell her a story. Whether you recount the events of that night or simply make up a scenario, do it in slow, exquisite detail.
“Remember how it felt when I kissed your neck...”
“How did it feel when I slowly...slowly...ran my tongue up your thigh...”
“Now I’m tasting you...slowly sliding my tongue inside your pussy...”
By doing this, you are quite literally fucking with her head, and by the time she gets home she will be so wound up that she will be ripping her clothes off before she even gets inside the door.
Fancy Something New?
If there’s something you really really want to try but you’re not sure if your partner would enjoy it, or even if you would enjoy it, why not do it in your heads, first?
For example, let’s say you have always fancied having sex outdoors, but you’ve never tried it. If you’re embarrassed or shy about talking about it, wait until bedtime (but not sleep time) and then, in the dark, start to weave a story. Use all your linguistic powers and paint a picture for your partner about walking through the woods (or lying on the beach, bending over your car, or sitting on the church pews). Take your time and really get inside their mind, creating a scene that’s so vivid that they – and you – feel it all around. Mention the leaves rustling, the smell of the pine trees, the feel of the rough bark on their back as they lean against the tree. Mention the birds flying from the trees when you both scream as you cum together. You might not even get that far because you might both be so turned on, that words just aren’t enough. The advantage to playing this game in the dark is that all they have to concentrate on is your voice and your descriptive powers. Then you can gauge how you feel about it and how they react to it before deciding on whether to act it out for real.
Coming...Ready or Not.
We’ve all played hide and seek as kids, and that thrill can be carried over into the world of BDSM, but there is nothing childish about this particular mind game.
BDSM comes in many degrees, from a simple binding of hands to the bedposts to full-on leather and whips and cock torture, but what many people don’t realize is that BDSM can be practiced to great effect without much more than a blindfold and a few sound effects.
If BDSM features in your sex life together, go one better by adding mind games to the mix. By definition, BDSM renders the submissive person vulnerable, but you can play on that vulnerability by working on their senses.
Picture this: the sub is stripped naked and blindfolded. But instead of the usual sex play you decide to get inside their head. They can’t see a thing, so they can only rely on their hearing. They can hear you taking slow, steady steps around them, and wait in anticipation of something happening...but nothing does, just slow, steady steps. Then you add in some more sound effects. Perhaps you unbuckle your belt, or remove it and snap the leather close to their ear. Their mind will be working overtime, wondering if you are going to use the belt or are simply taking it off. And if you’re taking it off, why?
You could stand behind them and unzip yourself, then lean close and simply breathe slowly and deeply in their ear before moving off again. A gentle breath on the back of their neck will tell them where you are, but then you move again. Every sound, every touch in this scenario will give them a rush of adrenalin, and the longer you can keep it up – so to speak – the more heightened their senses will be.
Where it goes after this is entirely up to you. You could simply untie them and tell them not to move or open their eyes until a minute has passed, and them leave the room, or you could proceed to have sex while they are still bound. Alternatively, you could untie them and make love, the choice is yours. Whatever conclusion you bring this to, there will be adrenalin coursing through their veins and it will add more to your session than you could ever imagine.
Of course, it goes without saying that BDSM should always involve permission, trust, respect, and the use of a safe word.
What About Other Games?
Playing mind games isn’t for everyone, and that’s okay because there are loads of games you can play as a couple to get the juices flowing without getting into their head:
It goes without saying that any game automatically becomes sexy if it’s done naked; Twister is interesting, and of course poker will help you to poke-er a lot faster when it’s done without threads. But there are other games that exercise the mental muscle in a more subtle way than the aforementioned examples.
X Marks the Spot involves you thinking of one spot on your body, while your partner kisses every inch of your body until they find it. Alternatively, you can take your minds back to the days of young love and fit in a quickie just like you used to do. Set a timer and get down to some heavy petting, and see how far you can get before the timer runs out. And there’s always Truth or Dare, with filthy questions and even filthier dares. Playing games, whether are mind games or not, can add a whole new layer of intimacy to any relationship.